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Day 17 - Self Quarantine

It's day 17 working from home, after the government finally declared that it is dangerous to go outside and advised us, people who live in Jakarta especially, to stay at home and to work from home. But I am a government worker, and there is no way we can do this WFH thing 100%. I went to the office for the first two days, Monday and Tuesday, then Friday. On second week, I took the train again to go to the office on Thursday. And now entering the week 3, I have to go to the office on Friday.

This self quarantine has made my emotion goes up and down. For the first two weeks I was okay, mainly because my younger brother was still here, finishing up his internship at local public accounting firm. He finally had to go back, even though the authority advises not to leave Jakarta but this is a hard decision, his life is not here in Jakarta. So I told him the precautions he has to take after arriving at the airport, change his clothes, not to touch my parents, take a bath, and wash his clothes immediately. Right after he left I felt empty because something was missing. He's stayed for the last 3 months and my place started to feel like home, even though he was noisy. This condition really made me a little stressed and thus this unsettling feeling for these past few days keep bugging me. I am easily annoyed for most of the things, my leaky shower jetspray, the slow internet connection, my apathy friend regarding this pandemic, even my mom. I am getting angrier that my mom keep hinting that I should get married and I have to open up for someone new. I know I shouldn't be angry at my mom but I couldn't control it. This situation has brought the worst of me.

So I texted my friend, I just told my friend how I feel. Not my intention but I just feel the need to let it all out. I still don't feel any different. What is it? Is it almost that time of the month?

2020 feels like ages and I am not getting any better.

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