The night was surprisingly quiet, only the sound of the band was playing from a distance, a song of a lost soul I supposed, and his trembling voice explaining his other side of the story. I tucked my left hand inside my jacket and could feel the other one shaking. It was one cold autumn and I am still not used to this kind of temperature. "It must have been hard for you.." I finally said my words as I looked him in the eyes and holding his hand. He looked conflicted but relieved at the same time. We finally had this talk and I didn't know it was harder than what I've imagined and rehearsed in my head. How can we survive this long? "But you have no idea how it has been for me," I continued the talk and gripped his hand tighter. "For years, for years I have been asking what was this all about. You know me. You know all of my insecurities. You know I've never been through any kind of.." I choked and felt my eyes were about to burst. Dang it.