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The Talk

The night was surprisingly quiet, only the sound of the band was playing from a distance, a song of a lost soul I supposed, and his trembling voice explaining his other side of the story. I tucked my left hand inside my jacket and could feel the other one shaking. It was one cold autumn and I am still not used to this kind of temperature.
"It must have been hard for you.." I finally said my words as I looked him in the eyes and holding his hand. He looked conflicted but relieved at the same time. We finally had this talk and I didn't know it was harder than what I've imagined and rehearsed in my head. How can we survive this long?
"But you have no idea how it has been for me," I continued the talk and gripped his hand tighter. "For years, for years I have been asking what was this all about. You know me. You know all of my insecurities. You know I've never been through any kind of.." I choked and felt my eyes were about to burst. Dang it. Noo please don't cry. Hold it all in, eyes. Hold it in! Ugh I couldn't continue this talk.
"We should get in," he broke the silence as I can't seem to continue everything I wanted to tell him. I shook my head and gathered up all my energy to tell him what I've been through, how I feel, or at least used to feel about us. And this all happened because no one said a word, no one told another what was really going on.
It's too late. The ship has sailed.

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