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Memori Jean - 2

Wajahnya basah, mungkin dia baru mencuci muka, atau dia baru saja ambil wudhu. Aku masih duduk di sini, TV menyala namun aku tidak memperhatikan sama sekali. Sesuatu tentang betapa kacaunya penduduk bumi ini, aku rasa. Aku hilang dalam lamunanku, menelaah semua percakapan yang terjadi lima jam lalu.

Apa yang terjadi?

"Ayo, sholat." ajaknya sambil mengecilkan volume televisi.

"Ah, iya.." tentu saja, sholat Isya. Aku pun berjalan ke kamar mandi dan mengambil wudhu. Wajah, tangan, rambut, telinga, dan kaki. Anggota tubuhku hafal gerakan ini, bahkan ketika aku tidak bisa mengingat hal lain. Kenapa aku tidak ingat hal lain? Kenapa baru sekarang aku peduli?

Ya Allah maafkan hamba-Mu. Bahkan di saat seharusnya aku mencurahkan segala perhatian untuk menyembahMu aku malah memikirkan hal yang lain.

Mengapa sekarang? Mengapa sekarang aku baru mengkhawatirkan masa lalu? Mereka bahkan bukan orang yang aku kenal. Kenapa aku harus peduli?

"Assalaammu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh." dia mengakhiri shalat dengan salam. Semoga kedamaian dilimpahkan kepadamu diiringi dengan rahmat dari Allah dan juga barakah dari Allah untukmu. Aku damai, kemarin. Tidak hari ini. Oh, bahkan aku tidak sadar sudah selesai sholat. Semua gerakan sudah auto-pilot. Kenapa tidak dengan ingatanku?

Aah ini benar-benar mengganggu.

"Ya ampun, Maaf maaf." aku tersadar dan mendapati dia menatapku dengan tatapan aneh, atau prihatin? atau bingung? "aku mau cerita, tapi kita makan dulu ya. Aku lapar.. Udah masuk siklus hormonal nih, haha"

Iya, sudah siklus hormonal. Makanya seperti ini.

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