Langsung ke konten utama

Bad Dream

I woke up from a bad dream, that my mom somehow chose to leave this earth, and how she prepared for everything for us. Just before I confronted her about her choice, I woke up, sobbing really hard but no tears, had trouble breathing, and eventually shed a tear. This is the worst dream ever. Sure I had dreams like this before, that my mom passed away, but it was not like this. It was usually just people saying my mom's gone, but I never saw how or the exact moment she'd gone. But this dream, that my mom looked so much at peace that she could choose to go, without thinking that I asked her once not to go before seeing me successful, married and have kids, is so painful that I immediately sobbed and became so emotional. And to add that, I fell asleep at 8 pm and woke up at 08.30 pm because I had a dream too that my sister died.

wtf brain. wtf.

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

A Story of Unsuccessful Romance: Chapter 1

 I Saw You Across The Classroom I would've never thought that the moment I saw him for the first time across our classroom was the moment that I would remember for the longest time. I was just a 14 year old kid who like pretty people with pretty eyes. Little did I know I would think over him over the years.. I got accepted to one of reputable public high school in my city, barely. My name was at the bottom of selection results, like, the last 5 people who got in to this school. Nevertheless, I was excited, of course. It was my dream to be a student here since it would help me path my way to go to reputable universities in the future. Back then, this school had two special programs, the acceleration program where you could study in high school for two years, and the international program - where you (were supposed to) learn all the subjects in English. I just finished my orientation and I was initially studying at grade X (ten) - 3. My mom, who was a high school teacher herself in a...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

amazing weekend

I went to Kota Tua and Monas last Friday with my housemates. I actually doubted that I could go there considering that I still had remaining undone tasks that had to be done. but since I've had the busiest week ever in May (meetings, assignments..), I decided to leave it and grab the rarest chance ever, spending time with my housemates, since we have this unmatched schedule. so we went to Kota Tua and we took a lot (trust me, A LOT) of photos with Laura's camera ;) and when the twilight touched this part of Indonesia, we set our feet to trans jakarta shelter and headed to Monas. even when hadn't touch the front gate of Monas, we already took so many pictures! hahaha you can imagine when a bunch of girls holding a camera.. we just can't hold the passion of taking pictures.. lol when we finally went back to our house, I immediately took a bath, and reached my bed to sleep because I was extremely exhausted, but happy! :D the next day, on Saturday morning, my friend asked...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Day 26 (?) - Self Quarantine

I don't know about myself anymore. I hate myself. I loathe my sister, her high voice. I hate how I become easily angry at things. I hate everything. My colleagues from work finally asked me why I am not on Twitter anymore. Oh I still am. I'm just using a different account and signed out from my main account. I hate seeing my friends there, or I just hate that I keep pouring my minds out there that I felt insecure about them reading too much of my mind. Or I just hate how intense the discussion about how Indonesian Government handle the pandemic. I don't know. I just grow distant because I am not having a real interaction there. I hate chatting on app. I really don't like every single thing. And stuck with my sister? Oh God. Can I just die already? Like instant die. Instantly vanished. My existence doesn't matter anymore I need a break from being just a pain in the ass from anyone. I hate myself so much and this is not even from my PMS talking. My period end...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya