The Moon

I like the Moon.

Not only because it is used in Islamic calendar and Chinese calendar, or its light shimmered on a dark night, but also because an Indonesian famous author once romanticise the moon as something that connects two people who are separated by distance. The only real thing that they can see at the same time no matter how far they're apart (but of course it depends on the timezone).

Not the Sun, which shines so brightly during the day, but the Moon 🌒, which brings peace after a loong day at work. So every time I see the Moon, I'd capture it and just tweet it, hope anyone who shares the same sky can see it too, and know they're not alone 🙂

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A Story of Unsuccessful Romance: Chapter 1

I Saw You Across The Classroom I would've never thought that the moment I saw him for the first time across our classroom was the moment that I would remember for the longest time. I was just a 14 year old kid who like pretty people with pretty eyes. Little did I know I would think over him over the years.. I got accepted to one of reputable public high school in my city, barely. My name was at the bottom of selection results, like, the last 5 people who got in to this school. Nevertheless, I was excited, of course. It was my dream to be a student here since it would help me path my way to go to reputable universities in the future. Back then, this school had two special programs, the acceleration program where you could study in high school for two years, and the international program - where you (were supposed to) learn all the subjects in English. I just finished my orientation and I was initially studying at grade X (ten) - 3. My mom, who was a high school teacher herself in a...

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これを書き留めておく必要があります。そうしないと、気持ちが溜まってしまいます。

日本を離れるとき、心が痛みました。自分に誓ったのは、日本の更新情報を見ないということです。事実、私はまだ友達の投稿や日本に関する更新情報を見ていました。傷ついた気持ちからそう言ったのです。それは私の人生で最も素晴らしい時期であり、終わらなければなりませんでした。時々SNSを開きたくないと感じることがありました。彼らがまだ日本で生活を楽しんでいるのを見て、私は現実に戻らなければなりませんでした。悲しんでいましたが、前に進まなければなりませんでした時々、まだそこで知り合った人たちに連絡を取り、何かを言ったり、彼らの近況を尋ねたりしていました。しかし、もはや共通の話題がないため、会話は行き詰まりました。その後、彼らがグループチャットで話しているのを見て、取り残された感じがしました。少し奇妙な感じがしました。大げさに言えば、疎外された感じがしました。ありがたいことに、あるいは悲しいことに、私には日課がありました。日本やそこにいるみんなのことを考えなくてすむような日課です。しかし、一人でいるとき、突然思いがよぎり、また悲しくなることがありました。まるで心に突き刺さる痛みのように。時には、彼らの中の何人かがまだ個人的にメッセージを送ってきました。不思議なことに、忘れられていないという感謝の気持ちがあります。まだ彼らの生活の一部であり、冗談を言い合えるということです。私は内向的な性格で、何よりも平和を選びます。彼らが連絡を取りにくいなら、おそらく私からは連絡しません。終わったものは終わったのです。良い時期を過ごしましたし、それを台無しにすることはありません。ただ、1年前、2年前に起きたことについての通知を見たとき、それはあまり助けにはならないですね。それが私の人生だったのか、と思ってしまいます。 When I was about to leave Japan, my heart ached. I swore to myself that I would not look at any updates from Japan. The fact is, I still saw my friends' posts and updates about Japan. I said those things because I felt hurt. It was t...

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frustrated, or maybe even depressed

First of all, this is just a personal blog trying to process my personal experience, emotions, and feelings in light of my personal recent events which cause this frustration. Part of why this is happening probably was because I had these thoughts for several years, of my fears losing the ability to use my hands, or legs. The ability to hear. I already lost the ability to see normally ages ago, which also, probably the cause of my accident. I would like to apologize in advance for this post, if it seems insensitive. Again, this is just me trying to process. I don't know why, but since 2019, my August has always been cursed - if I ever leave my nest. The recent accident was worse, I fell into the sea, while I was just walking through this dark, un-illuminated path small dock in Sorong and somehow my left arm hit something which resulted in a broken arm - wearing spalk during the 4 hours flight to Jakarta which continued on several days - and a surgery to install plate and screws. It...

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A Story of Unsuccessful Romance: Chapter 1

これを書き留めておく必要があります。そうしないと、気持ちが溜まってしまいます。

frustrated, or maybe even depressed