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Coward

Why am I such a coward?
Encouraging people around me to face and deal with their problems, assure them that it's gonna be okay but I can't do such thing to myself.
Can't even convince myself to deal with mine.
Leave me hanging for years and hiding.
Scared to face it and let it rot.
I hate it when I do that.
Hate it more when I'm having a meltdown every once in a while.
Hate it to the core that I'm picturing things again.
Why do I exist again?
If I am to bring nothing but pain.
If I am to give nothing but empty promises.

I hate it when I'm having this meltdown.
I'm trying to convince myself, "hey, no one is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws."
But mine? I think it's the worst.

I hate myself when I'm having a meltdown.

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これを書き留めておく必要があります。そうしないと、気持ちが溜まってしまいます。

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