Langsung ke konten utama

Ramadan, then and now

I was walking with my friends, former roommate and current roommate here in Depok, on our way to MUI to do taraweeh prayer when there were bunch of kids waiting for firecrackers to explode. Small scale of fire were lit, but the sound of explosion scared us a little. And as I am typing this, another one just exploded -_-

"When I was younger, I only played with small fireworks and colorful candles", I made a sudden commentary as we continued to walk.
"Me too", Dyta agreed with what I just said.

We talked about something else as we passed the rail heading to the mosque, but my mind wandered to years ago when I was in elementary school and always looked forward to Ramadan month, the holiest month in Islamic calendar. No, not the part where we fast from dawn to sunset, because I once witnessed my friends intentionally drink a glass of water in the afternoon and recite "Astaghfirullah" for a 100 times ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
(not me, I am proud to say I never broke the fast unless I was sick). But the part where after we broke the fast with delicious and typical food in Ramadan, did Magrib prayer, and we played outside to light the candles on our fence and fired up fireworks and hung them on trees or just swirled them up in the air. My neighbors and I were about the same age, so we played together outside at night until it is time to do Isya and taraweeh prayer. And we got to listen the talk from Ustads and wrote down the notes on this special book.

Aah, how time flies..

Elementary school was the best of times. We got to play a lot, friends played outside, and there were a lot of us! Everything changed when we got into 6th grade and they focused to pass the school exams, and continued to junior high school where puberty hit and things just changed between girls and boys. But Ramadan stayed the same. We went to our neighborhood mushola, even got to learn there from dawn to noon to learn more about Islam, because in 2004 the government started this "Pesantren Kilat Ramadan" program where for a month we didn't study at school, but to learn more about Islam in our neighborhood mosques/mushola. I just loove those times...

And now, since I moved from my hometown to this city to continue my study and to work, Ramadan is not the same. It's just, not the right ambiance. I always associated Ramadan with my hometown, my family, my friends, the food.. Who broke the fast with oily fritters? Apparently only Jakartans because those are the common food for ta'jil here -_- I want my sweet and delicious cuisine for Iftar. I want to go taraweeh and hear the lecture in Minangnese. I even miss the heat I use to feel every Ramadan in Padang.

But fear not, after 3 years I finally can feel my favorite atmosphere again. Thank you, Government for setting up the mass leave from 11-20 June. Because in 2016 and 2017, I went back home when the Ramadan was over.

My only concern is that the pilots of the airline I'm gonna use is planning to do a strike on the peak flow of homecoming. Please do it on another day, just, please..

Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

frustrated, or maybe even depressed

First of all, this is just a personal blog trying to process my personal experience, emotions, and feelings in light of my personal recent events which cause this frustration. Part of why this is happening probably was because I had these thoughts for several years, of my fears losing the ability to use my hands, or legs. The ability to hear. I already lost the ability to see normally ages ago, which also, probably the cause of my accident. I would like to apologize in advance for this post, if it seems insensitive. Again, this is just me trying to process. I don't know why, but since 2019, my August has always been cursed - if I ever leave my nest. The recent accident was worse, I fell into the sea, while I was just walking through this dark, un-illuminated path small dock in Sorong and somehow my left arm hit something which resulted in a broken arm - wearing spalk during the 4 hours flight to Jakarta which continued on several days - and a surgery to install plate and screws. It...

No, I'll go first

Today was a long day, and I came home with ache on both of my legs. Funny. I recalled those times when I was still in Tokyo, I could walk for miles and miles and hours after hours. Last time when mom visited, I walked back and forth here and there to accommodate both my mom and sister. My mom wasn't feeling well during the trip, and she couldn't walk to as many places as my sister could. It was also summer, yet I wasn't as tired as I'm feeling right now. After the trip finished, I sent them both off at Haneda airport. That time, I was feeling okay. I would meet them in a couple of months since I'd be graduating. I was okay, unlike those times when I sent my family off at Soetta after visiting me in Depok. I was always sad and would always cry after taking my mom, or my dad, or my sister (my brother rarely visited) there to go back to Padang. I felt lonely, and sad, and there was this huge hollowness of being left.  And just tonight, I was watching this music video a...

ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ›ธใ็•™ใ‚ใฆใŠใๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™。ใใ†ใ—ใชใ„ใจ、ๆฐ—ๆŒใกใŒๆบœใพใฃใฆใ—ใพใ„ใพใ™。

 ๆ—ฅๆœฌใ‚’้›ขใ‚Œใ‚‹ใจใ、ๅฟƒใŒ็—›ใฟใพใ—ใŸ。่‡ชๅˆ†ใซ่ช“ใฃใŸใฎใฏ、ๆ—ฅๆœฌใฎๆ›ดๆ–ฐๆƒ…ๅ ฑใ‚’่ฆ‹ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™。 ไบ‹ๅฎŸ、็งใฏใพใ ๅ‹้”ใฎๆŠ•็จฟใ‚„ๆ—ฅๆœฌใซ้–ขใ™ใ‚‹ๆ›ดๆ–ฐๆƒ…ๅ ฑใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ。ๅ‚ทใคใ„ใŸๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ‹ใ‚‰ใใ†่จ€ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™。ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใฎไบบ็”Ÿใงๆœ€ใ‚‚็ด ๆ™ดใ‚‰ใ—ใ„ๆ™‚ๆœŸใงใ‚ใ‚Š、็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚‰ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ。 ๆ™‚ใ€…SNSใ‚’้–‹ใใŸใใชใ„ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ。ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใพใ ๆ—ฅๆœฌใง็”Ÿๆดปใ‚’ๆฅฝใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆ、็งใฏ็พๅฎŸใซๆˆปใ‚‰ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ。ๆ‚ฒใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใพใ—ใŸใŒ、ๅ‰ใซ้€ฒใพใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ ๆ™‚ใ€…、ใพใ ใใ“ใง็Ÿฅใ‚ŠๅˆใฃใŸไบบใŸใกใซ้€ฃ็ตกใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Š、ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚Š、ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎ่ฟ‘ๆณใ‚’ๅฐ‹ใญใŸใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ。 ใ—ใ‹ใ—、ใ‚‚ใฏใ‚„ๅ…ฑ้€šใฎ่ฉฑ้กŒใŒใชใ„ใŸใ‚、ไผš่ฉฑใฏ่กŒใ่ฉฐใพใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ。ใใฎๅพŒ、ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใ‚ฐใƒซใƒผใƒ—ใƒใƒฃใƒƒใƒˆใง่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆ、ๅ–ใ‚Šๆฎ‹ใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŒใ—ใพใ—ใŸ。ๅฐ‘ใ—ๅฅ‡ๅฆ™ใชๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŒใ—ใพใ—ใŸ。ๅคงใ’ใ•ใซ่จ€ใˆใฐ、็–Žๅค–ใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŒใ—ใพใ—ใŸ。 ใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใŸใ„ใ“ใจใซ、ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ„ใฏๆ‚ฒใ—ใ„ใ“ใจใซ、็งใซใฏๆ—ฅ่ชฒใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ。ๆ—ฅๆœฌใ‚„ใใ“ใซใ„ใ‚‹ใฟใ‚“ใชใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่€ƒใˆใชใใฆใ™ใ‚€ใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆ—ฅ่ชฒใงใ™。ใ—ใ‹ใ—、ไธ€ไบบใงใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ、็ช็„ถๆ€ใ„ใŒใ‚ˆใŽใ‚Š、ใพใŸๆ‚ฒใ—ใใชใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ。ใพใ‚‹ใงๅฟƒใซ็ชใๅˆบใ•ใ‚‹็—›ใฟใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ。 ๆ™‚ใซใฏ、ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎไธญใฎไฝ•ไบบใ‹ใŒใพใ ๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใซใƒกใƒƒใ‚ปใƒผใ‚ธใ‚’้€ใฃใฆใใพใ—ใŸ。ไธๆ€่ญฐใชใ“ใจใซ、ๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„Ÿ่ฌใฎๆฐ—ๆŒใกใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™。ใพใ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎ็”Ÿๆดปใฎไธ€้ƒจใงใ‚ใ‚Š、ๅ†—่ซ‡ใ‚’่จ€ใ„ๅˆใˆใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™。 ็งใฏๅ†…ๅ‘็š„ใชๆ€งๆ ผใง、ไฝ•ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ๅนณๅ’Œใ‚’้ธใณใพใ™。ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ้€ฃ็ตกใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Šใซใใ„ใชใ‚‰、ใŠใใ‚‰ใ็งใ‹ใ‚‰ใฏ้€ฃ็ตกใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“。็ต‚ใ‚ใฃใŸใ‚‚ใฎใฏ็ต‚ใ‚ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™。่‰ฏใ„ๆ™‚ๆœŸใ‚’้Žใ”ใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ—、ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฐ็„กใ—ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“。 ใŸใ 、1ๅนดๅ‰、2ๅนดๅ‰ใซ่ตทใใŸใ“ใจใซใคใ„ใฆใฎ้€š็Ÿฅใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸใจใ、ใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใพใ‚ŠๅŠฉใ‘ใซใฏใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใงใ™ใญ。ใใ‚ŒใŒ็งใฎไบบ็”Ÿใ ใฃใŸใฎใ‹、ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ—ใพใ„ใพใ™。 When I was about to leave Japan, my heart ached. I swore to myself that I would not look at any updates from Japan. The fact is, I still saw my friends' posts and updates about Japan. I said those things because I felt hurt. It was t...