A sudden realization...

It's so funny that I just realized this, like at this actual moment, that the post above - where I wish I'll leave this earth first - happened exactly a year before my accident.

Confused?

Let me explain.

I told you that I fell down and broke my arm, right? The one where I needed to go through surgery to install plates and screw in my bones until it fully heals. That one accident that I keep thinking even though it happened more than 6 months ago.

I fell down the sea on August 8, 2025.

I got a taste of death a year after I made that post. And I freaked out. I chickened out. I'm suddenly scared of the thoughts of dying, painfully and slowly. Looks like I just wanted an easy way out. A peaceful ending. Maybe in my sleep. Or a quick one where I won't feel a thing.

But I tasted what it felt like when your limb broke down. The way I screamed that night when the emergency nurse was trying to put on the spalk on me so I can safely return to Jakarta taking a 4 hour flight. How I was mentally down after the surgery. It wasn't peaceful. It was painful.

Funny I just discovered this timeline alignment today. What a coincidence.

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これを書き留めておく必要があります。そうしないと、気持ちが溜まってしまいます。

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